My parents visit
Recently we had the privilege of my parents coming to visit us from Namibia. We stay in Cape Town, about 1200km’s from them and we don’t get to see them very often.
We had a lovely time, laughed ourselves into tears, drank too much beer and wine and over-ate ourselves constantly.
And the best thing - I don’t regret any of it.
What sparked the idea to write this post?
From time to time, my dad enjoys going to the casino to gamble a bit. Now gambling is quite a contentious topic, and most people agree that it’s not a good idea, but each to his own and if you can afford it, go for it. But that’s not the point of this post.
Usually no-one in my family feels like joining him, as they feel that they can spend their money better - which is probably the case.
But when my dad asks me if I would like to join him - I say yes. And I usually lose my allocated budget (which could be spent better in rational terms) and sometimes I win a bit.
When we came back from the casino (after losing our money) and my wife asked me if I won? I said no and she said “That’s ridiculous!”. My reply was it’s not about the money.
I just spent an afternoon with my dad, relaxing and enjoying ourselves. Who know’s how many of these opportunities we have left?
A few years ago I read a startling blog post by Tim Urban, The Tail End, on his blog Wait But Why.
It’s quite a long blog post, and while Tim did a great job in writing it, I want to focus on a very specific section of the post today. And that’s the section on relationships.
And it all boils down to some calculations.
Takeaways from Tim Urbans Blog Post
- Let’s say you were privileged enough to stay with your parent for the first 18 years of your life
- You spent time with them for about 90% off those 18 years
18 years X 365 days X 90% = 5847 days
Now after going to university and getting a job, you spend ± 10 days per year with them. That’s about 3% of the time you used to spend with them per year as a child.
10/365 = 2.7%
So my parents are around their 60’s now. Assuming they live to be 90 years old, and I see them 10 days per year, that’s only 300 days left with them. Which is less time than you spent per year as a child.
30*10 = 300 days left
That’s difficult to comprehend, but let’s use a graphic from Tim’s post to better understand it:
This graphic illustrates all the time I have spent with my parents and how much time I have left. Sad right?
What to do about it?
- If possible, live as close as possible to your parents
- When together, put away your phone and spend quality time with them
- Make it a priority
Once they are gone, you will have regret not spending that afternoon at the metaphorical casino and losing a little bit of money. You will probably be willing to spend way more money to have just one more afternoon with your mom/dad once they are gone.
So go on, call your parents!