Surround yourself with clay-makers, change-makers and lie-breakers.

What is the secret ingredient to incredible growth while facing insurmountable adversity?

Surround yourself with clay-makers, change-makers and lie-breakers.
Photo by Quino Al / Unsplash

We are approaching that time of year again where people reflect on the last 12 months and set goals for the next 12. Most of them will start out with a bang in January and hang up the proverbial gloves by February.

My 2022 reflection

The last few days I have been reflecting a bit on 2022. And to be honest, I think it has been both my most challenging year since quitting my job in 2020 and becoming a full-time entrepreneur AND also the year where I have experienced the most growth.

Going a level deeper, I asked myself, what is the secret ingredient to incredible growth while facing insurmountable adversity?

The secret ingredient

I am convinced that the secret ingredient is: having the right people in your circle/corner/life.

I have a few people in my life who are clay-makers, change-makers and lie-breakers. These are the people who help form you, help you become a better version of yourself and help you back onto your feet when life puts you on your backside.

How do you spot clay-makers, change-makers and lie-breakers?

It's extremely important that you identify these people in your life and deepen your relationships even further. They usually have these traits:

  • After having a deep chat with them, you walk away and you feel almost bruised/vulnerable. Not in a negative sense, simply because if someone challenges your beliefs, ideas and convictions you will feel taken aback when you realise that you might have been wrong.
  • When you believe a lie about yourself, they remind you of the truth.
  • They broaden your thinking.
  • You cannot imagine living life without them - they make it better.
  • They are uplifting and build up your character.

If you read this list and someone came to mind - great - nurture your relationship and make it a priority. If you don't have anyone like this in your life, make that your goal for 2023.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Jim Rohn

Remove toxic people from your life ASAP

If we are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, and 4 of them are toxic people. RUN!

How to spot a toxic person?

  • They are always complaining, but they never do anything about it.
  • They break down your character.
  • It's always about them.
  • They don't have hope for the future.
  • Spending time with them is draining.

Reading through this list, one or two people might come to mind. My advice, cut them out of your life if possible, if not, avoid them. It's not worth it.

And before you are tempted to tell yourself that you can change them or help them, ask yourself whether they are willing to change?


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